Many people fail in reaching their personal-development goals because they have unrealistic expectations about the speed, amount, ease, and consequences of attempts at self-change.

False hope syndrome

The false hope syndrome is what’s happening when we set ourselves difficult or even impossible goals. We overestimate the ease and speed to achieve the goal and underestimate the effort and the consequences of trying. We end up failing and trying over and over again for the same reasons. What I also regret in this quest, is the glorification of pain. Sure, there is an inherent amount of effort and perseverance to get results but pain can’t be bearable over the long term if it’s not balanced with positive feelings. To get great results we need to do things often: be consistent. And no one is able to bear pain consistently and healthily at the same time. My opinion is to stop wanting to insert wicked and plain performance in your goal achievements. The « no pain, no gain » is a good sport headline but seeking pain for the sake of progress is dangerous. Accepting pain after pain is not going to drive you anywhere but in tiredness and discouragement. The goal is to be consistent and pain is not a healthy driving force. What we need is to enjoy the process. Pain can be part of it but never used as an indicator of doing things right. Setting up a routine with realistic tasks in which you find joy, proud, fulfillment and happiness is key. Most of us don’t need to surpass/deprive ourselves to seek performance, we just need to find our very personal consistency pattern that brings us positive vibes during our journey.