We badly frame questions for all sort of reasons. Because we assume everything was clear or because we fear of looking fussy or rude. From little frictions to more serious regrets or failures, the consequences can be bad. If the questions you ask to give people a chance to have some help don’t trigger any interaction, it most likely means that your questions don’t give the feeling that you really want to help. At best, the words and the ton you use are making you sound polite. You ask the question as a simple reflex like you always do. Other scenario, if you regularly beat about the bush with people around you, it’s most likely because you feel embarrassed to ask the questions that really matter to you. You don’t ask targeted and precise questions because you don’t want to start a conflict. You unconsciously ask the questions you would like to hear if you were in your interlocutor’s shoes. But good news! Those bad patterns can be fixed. What you need to do is to change the way you usually frame your questions. If you always ask the same questions over and over again you will have the same result. You can be as much polite as you can and still sound condescending. You can ask as many questions as you want and still don’t get the answer you expect. And that is just because your questions are poorly framed. One single word or a different ton can already make a big difference.
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