It’s good to feel things. Feelings/emotions are what makes you feel alive. But let’s be honest, it’s difficult to take negative feelings. They barely hit us that we already want them to be gone forever. We know they are temporary so we just wait till the resentment is gone. Sometimes, we even feel smarter when we somehow manage to ignore them. But, the truth is that they keep coming back bigger and more often. If you don’t want your feelings to define you, you have to take them as an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Being more vulnerable is not accepting to be weak, it’s accepting that we have weaknesses. To help me do so, I like to see my vulnerable quality as a virtual space where I can welcome those feelings. This space is a calm room with a notebook on a desk in the middle. When a feeling comes in, I sat at the desk so I can mindfully dissect and process it. I take my notes for future references (where it comes from, how much it affects me and why I think it does) and then I let it go. This process helps me take more distance with the things I feel and understand why I feel the way I feel. It’s like an antechamber to protect myself. Intellectualisation is a good process in general if you want to take distance with what you experience. It forces you to look at things from a third person’s viewpoint and be more objective. Understand what makes me feel the way I feel is the only method I know to better handle or prevent the feelings that can hurt me.
Get the weekly digest in your inbox!