While it’s a good use of our energy to name what’s outside of our control, it isn’t a good use of our energy to assume that everything is outside of our control. It’s better to focus on what’s within our control, even in situations where mostly everything is outside of it.

Locus of control

Of course, it feels good to vent. You free your mind and temporarily release some bad energies but, if you’re not careful it can become a trap. In fact, by constantly blaming external factors you can easily convince yourself that everything is beyond your influence. In reality, nothing is 100% out of your control. There is always a small locus of control you can find to help you get out of some situations and build up your confidence for the next difficulty. Interestingly, you can use your venting and complaining activities at your advantage to find what’s within your control. In most situations, your helplessness is nothing but the sum of the beliefs and the limits you locked yourself in.