I agree with Alice Walker, sometimes we don’t recognize when growth is happening. I believe that every moment of doubt, fear or stress is the bearer of something greater. Those emotions bring us information to better decrypt how our inner-self works. Ignoring them by fear of assuming the truth is refusing to evolve and understand why we feel weak in those moments. Embracing them is a chance to move forward and get better at filtering the thoughts that really need our attention. This is why I like to see more and more people sharing their vulnerability in an authentic manner. When they share their thoughts you can notice how confusing they felt before they made sense of the change that was happening in their mind. They put words on top of their feelings which can help us connect the dots in our personal situations.
The false hope syndrome is what’s happening when we set ourselves difficult or even impossible goals. We overestimate the ease and speed to achieve the goal and underestimate the effort and the consequences of trying. We end up failing and trying over and over again for the same reasons. What I also regret in this quest, is the glorification of pain. Sure, there is an inherent amount of effort and perseverance to get results but pain can’t be bearable over the long term if it’s not balanced with positive feelings. To get great results we need to do things often: be consistent. And no one is able to bear pain consistently and healthily at the same time. My opinion is to stop wanting to insert wicked and plain performance in your goal achievements. The « no pain, no gain » is a good sport headline but seeking pain for the sake of progress is dangerous. Accepting pain after pain is not going to drive you anywhere but in tiredness and discouragement. The goal is to be consistent and pain is not a healthy driving force. What we need is to enjoy the process. Pain can be part of it but never used as an indicator of doing things right. Setting up a routine with realistic tasks in which you find joy, proud, fulfillment and happiness is key. Most of us don’t need to surpass/deprive ourselves to seek performance, we just need to find our very personal consistency pattern that brings us positive vibes during our journey.