I would like to share with you a typography foundry I recently found. Not because of their beautiful work but because of the sample sentences they use to highlight their fonts: a surprising collection of powerful self-caring questions. I am always fascinated about how a tiny little question can change the way we think about things. In communication, questions can be a powerful tool when you know how to formulate and sequence them. But, at some point, we need to return some of those questions to ourselves and introspect. The mind is tricky, on one hand it creates shortcuts to simplify our lives and on the other hand it can’t stop triggering (overwhelming) thoughts. I think our mind is very smart and, if some thoughts are often coming back this means we need to question them. What is this recurring thought? Where is it coming from? Why can’t I stop thinking about that? How can fix this for good? Ignoring or avoiding the confrontation is suicidal. Dealing with thoughts is therefore a painful process but in the end liberating. The sooner you'll take the lead, the easier it will be.
Wanting to banish conflict from the workplace is a really bad idea. Conflict is part of every relationships. Love, work, family, ... there is no exception. And in order to make these relationships work there is no secret, you’ll have to go deal with conflict. Keeping things to yourself, going away or resigning aren’t going to help. You might not realize it at first but, out of cowardice, you choose to passively endure the situation every single time. This is a dangerous habit because you’ll end up thinking it’s always someone else’s fault. If you really want things to get better, you need the courage to objectively set out your situation. At this point, if you chicken out by fear of being challenged back, this probably says more about yourself than the others. On the contrary, if you feel legitimate to go ahead, never assume you own the truth. There is often so much more we didn’t think about and consider. Keep the closed-minded monologue for your mirror and start a conversation instead.